by Welcome to So Mini ModiYahoo Life parenting series on the joys and challenges of raising children.
Meghan Trainor’s early experience with giving birth was rocky: Son Riley — who turns 2 on Feb. 8, just days before the pop star makes his Super Bowl commercial debut for Pringles — was breech and had to be rushed to the neonatal care unit after being delivered by caesarean section which left his mother in a “dark place”.
But the “Made You Look” singer is trying to keep a positive mindset as she prepares to give birth for the second time this summer. Last week Trainor, who he’s married to Spy children actor Daryl Sabara, has announced she’s pregnant again (and yes, she knows the gender and has picked a name, but she plans to “torture” fans by keeping it all private for now). This time, she’s hoping for a smoother journey, she tells Yahoo Life.
Trainor recounts a conversation she had with her OB/GYN about 10 weeks into her new pregnancy, and she admits she’s trying to figure out how to make decisions like whether to have another C-section or try for a VBAC (Vaginal Delivery After cesarean) this time.
“[Riley] he didn’t come out awake, you know, so I asked her, ‘Well, that was like a fluke, right? It was very rare,'” says Trainor. “He was like, ‘yeah, that probably won’t happen if you do another C-section.’ But, you know, birth is traumatic for everyone involved. So I’m nervous, I have to do it again, but I want four kids, so I’m halfway there.
“I just know I have to give up,” adds the Grammy winner. “That’s my big word: give up. Give up for a day and a lot of pain. But I’ll be sidetracked by the love of my life, you know?”
Trainor is also using her experience to help other pregnant women who are feeling overwhelmed or just plain clueless when it comes to the practicalities of parenting. Her new book Dear Mum-To-Be: A TMI Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, and Motherhood from Your Best Friend, will be released on April 25th. Being the first of her closest friends to get married and start a family, the singer didn’t feel like she had any other moms to turn to as she carried a baby during the pandemic.
“I’m the only one who’s married and wants kids,” she says. “So I was alone in that pregnancy, and I felt so alone. I felt scared. I felt like I couldn’t go to mommy class or anything because of COVID. And I just did all the research I could online and still wondering I felt like I didn’t know anything and I wasn’t prepared.”
But Trainor was “blessed” to have experts on hand to help, e.g Dear future mother it will include their advice, from a dietitian discussing which foods are safe to eat each trimester, to fitness advice from her personal trainer. The singer’s doctor also dispenses health advice in each chapter.
“It’s not just me thinking, ‘My boobs were crazy!'” Trainor laughs. “It’s like, here’s some real advice from smart women that can help you.”
The 29-year-old opened up to Yahoo Life’s It Figures last fall about learning to love her body again after a difficult C-section and pregnancy weight gain.
“I’ve never broken a bone or had surgery, so going from nothing to, like, being covered in stretch marks and a big scar on all of them was like, Truly?!he says now. “And I was kind of disgusted that something had come out of me through surgery and that I was awake; it was hard. And it was hard to feel sexy again for a long time. But I’m so loved by my husband – he’s like, “this is where my baby came from” and I was like, “I’d like to watch this like you do.” All this required a lot. My therapist said I’ve had PTSD since birth.”
Part of that painful birth experience included some nurses blaming Trainor’s antidepressants for Riley’s health issues, which she plans to document in her book. “A lot of nurses were like, ‘well, you were on antidepressants and that’s why your son didn’t wake up,'” he says. “And there’s no science to back it up.”
Reflecting on those hardships, Trainor admits she thought, “Ugh, I don’t want to do this again. It sucks, you know?” And while he hasn’t put her off being pregnant, he admits she’s aware of how his body might change again.
“I’m actually smaller this time than I was when I got pregnant with Riley because I was working with these dietitians and my trainer,” she says. “When you have a baby, I was like, oh, i want to live forever. I want to be as healthy as possible. I was like 30 pounds lighter at the start of this pregnancy, but I’m still like, oh, i’ll branch out and do it all over again. And do I get new stretch marks or do they just branch out with you? I’m thinking about it for sure.”
Sabara helps her keep any negative self-talk under control.
“Every time I speak negatively out loud about myself, my husband is there to say, ‘You’re doing the life, that’s the miracle,'” she says. “And I’m like, ‘oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot.’ I really put myself in perspective, I have friends who are going through IVF and can’t get pregnant and I’m like [to myself], ‘thank you, body.’ That’s what we say – ‘thank you body for being able to do something so beautiful and make my dreams come true’ – because not everyone gets to do that. So I’ll take all my scars and all my insecurities.”
As a mom, she’s also mindful not to let Riley — who’s grooming himself to be a big brother — garner those critiques for years to come.
“I had a mom who still badmouths herself and that’s what I’ve heard my whole life,” says Trainor. “My dad…he’s that guy who’s the most loving guy ever, but he’ll tell you your insecurities because he thinks he’s helping you and then you’ll change. And I’m like, hmm, this is just bullying, you know? So we had to teach him what it was. But yeah, I think about it a lot with my son. He hardly talks, so I don’t worry [yet] … But already when he tries to copy me, I say “I say I’m smart” and he says “I’m smart!” and I’m like, ‘You say I’m brave.’ So I’m definitely going to be an affirmative mom where we speak really highly of ourselves.”
Trainor has plenty of reasons to feel good these days. On Super Bowl Sunday, the pop star and her dog Roo will make their Big Game debut in Pringle’s “Best of Us” ad campaign. The commercial sees Pringles fans, including Trainor, a devotee of the taste of barbecue, get their arms stuck in the famous long can of the chip. Trainor will also be using her TikTok to challenge fans to perform a #StuckInPringles dance set to her hit song “Made You Look.” And while she and her family will be in Australia on Super Bowl Sunday this year, they typically celebrate football holiday.
“I’m in it for the commercials and the halftime show,” he says. “But that’s why I never thought I’d actually be in a commercial for the big game. I couldn’t believe it. And it was honestly pretty close when I found out I was pregnant and Hillary Duff told me ‘babies bring Good luck.’ And I was like, you know what? This baby brought me a lot of luck. I’m going to be in a commercial for a big game. … So it’s all connected and I’m beaming with joy in life right now. It’s all too good to be true .”
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